So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
