$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
