My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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