It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
