omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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