Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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