just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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