And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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