last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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