i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
two words: eviction party
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
