If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
