I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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