He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize