note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize