It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
