If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
