Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
