Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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