So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
