If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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