Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So squirting runs in the family.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
