I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
