Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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