Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
