i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
