remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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