I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
