I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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