he fucked my hip out of place.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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