I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
