if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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