I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize