Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
