I hate all girls vehemently.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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