Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
