omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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