I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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