Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
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Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.