Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.