paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's Friday. Sex?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
