good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.