He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You can't just leave with hair like that
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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