P.S. I can't hear my feet
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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