bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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