I just pynch a tree in the face
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
