She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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