benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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