She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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