Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
