I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
