I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You don't make any sense
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