its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
