Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
