I cannot find my penis.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
