He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
