i don't like sucking hair
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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