just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
