I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
