Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
