I'm so fucking centered right now
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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